Dear Gabby,

I’m so angry. … No, I’m very angry! I purchased a product that didn’t hold up to its end of the bargain, so I took it back for a refund. The salesperson gave me a stack of forms to fill out, told me to mail them, and the company would determine if I was entitled to a refund.

I assumed if one purchased a product and it didn’t meet its guaranteed promise that you’d be issued a refund. Do you have any recommendations before I lower my standards of being a fairly nice man to making a fool out of myself?

Thank you,
H. Carter
 
Dear Mr. Carter,

Don’t get your undergarments in a bunch; your blood pressure could rise causing a massive brain explosion. God knows, you’re going to need your brain to fill out all of the required forms (been there, done that). I understand completely how you are feeling; I faced this same problem a year ago. Let me tell you about my experience. Iit may shed some light on your issue as well.

I was backing my car out of my driveway, when I accidentally backed into my 10-speed bicycle. My bike was crushed, and so was I. The damage to my car was minimal so I figured I could fix it myself. I assessed the size of the dent, which was about the size of a plum, and went to the store to purchase a dent repair kit.

Buying a dent repair kit is not as easy as one might think. I made the mistake going to a large “we sell everything” store and couldn’t find a dent repair kit anywhere. I got sidetracked and began loading my cart with food, cleaning supplies, pet items, until I miraculously came across a dent repair solution and of all places right next to the toothpaste … FIXODENT. I bought several tubes; you never know when you might need to repair another dent!

I took my tubes home, smeared it all over the small dent, let it set for a while, and then wiped off the excess. Did it remove the dent? NO, NO, and again I say, NO! It didn’t even decrease the size. So I drove myself back to the store, demanded a refund, was handed forms to fill out and mail to the company to determine if I was entitled to a refund. The store salesperson had three managers and two other store clerks over to hear my dilemma. I just couldn’t understand all the snickers and laughs, but all were very accommodating.

Five weeks passed by, and I finally got a reply and a refund. The company was so kind to me; they also sent me free coupons for FIXODENT, telling me that it was the thing to hold dentures in place. How nice, I thought, for a company to plan ahead for the consumer, knowing that one day in my much older days, I would need to wear them.

My advice: Hang in there and fill out the forms, they may be troublesome, but if you’re lucky, you’ll get the same response that I did- kind and wacky salespeople willing to go that extra mile and free coupons to boot!

Gabby
 

THIS ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED IN THE May 22 ISSUE OF FOCUS SB - THE INQUISITOR.