Dear Gabby,
My employer informed me that all was clear, and it was time to return back to work. I feel like a school boy starting his first day of school. I can’t remember the short cuts that I took getting to work in order to avoid all the morning traffic, and did I have a designated parking spot … I don’t know. What floor is my office on? I can’t recall, but I can recall the suite number. And what about my co-workers? Was I well liked, did I keep to myself, did I have any enemies … clueless! Did I bring my lunch or buy it? I can’t even remember the last project I was working on prior to this pandemic. I don’t know if I can operate my computer because for the past seven weeks I’ve been isolated from the real world and told to stay at home.
Evan
Dear Evan,
When I read your letter, for the first time in my career I was totally speechless. How did such vital information vanish in weeks? I’ll have to look at this scientifically and ask a few questions before we can reach a solution. Did you fall and hit your head causing a concussion? If so, seek medical attention now! Perhaps a lack of sunlight and communication with neighbors, family and friends would cause you to have the “couch potato” syndrome. This is so typical during a crisis, one tends to get content sitting on the sofa or on one of those plush reclining chairs, pushing the TV remote 10 to 12 hours a day and guzzling down sodas, beers, chips and popcorn. And let’s not forget the artery-clogging, fatty foods that the couch potato seems to crave on the hour every hour. Look in the mirror, Evan; do you see a couch potato looking back at you?
Abduction by an alien? Hey, it could happen. Did you ever see the movies “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” or “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”? Could a zombie have taken over your body without you realizing it? Another mystery to ponder.
Whatever the reason may be — and we may never know why you can’t remember work related details — but your solution is very plain and simple. Get up, put your pants on, button up that nicely starched dress shirt and add a little tie … very business savvy. Grab your briefcase (I’m sure there’s one lying around the house), get in your automobile and tell your GPS the business address. The GPS person is so polite and patient that he or she will safely guide you to your destination. Now that you’ve located your office building, park your automobile — anywhere, it doesn’t matter — get out of the vehicle and go to work. Once you open that office door it’ll all come back to you, and you’ll be sitting at your desk daydreaming about that vacation that you put in for, and only a few weeks away. Go, Evan! So glad you made it back to work!
Gabby
THIS ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED IN THE May 8 ISSUE OF FOCUS SB - THE INQUISITOR.