ByJOHN E. SETTLE JR
Focus SB News
It was not the first time, but it was the best time.
Previously, I had appeared as The Elf ringing the Salvation Army bell at Forbing Kroger and the Airline Super Walmart.
This time it was Government Plaza in the 500 block of Travis Street.
I picked the 12 noon to 3 p.m. shift on Tuesday, Dec. 14, right before the Shreveport City Council meeting.
And recalling my travails of the first two ringing sessions, I planned better. I took food, water and two chairs in bags. One was for me, and the other was for the Christmas cookies that were offered as "inducements" for kettle contributions.
But somewhere along the way, one of my precious, precious elf shoes could not be found. I advised inquirers that Rudolph had hidden it after being told he could not accompany me.
I also had a stack of the Dec. 14 issues of FOCUS SB with Santa on the cover to reward the generous souls.
I also took a bag of coal -- actually charcoal briquettes -- for the scrooges who refused my pleas for pennies for the kettle.
Some of the Government Plaza crowd who see me regularly at council and commission meetings appeared making snide comments like what sex is an elf, where is your Covid vax card, Santa must really be desperate if he employed you, and your tights are sagging. Thankfully, there are no recordings of my salty responses -- at least, I hope not.
I was pleasantly surprised when a donor asked if she could borrow the costume for a Christmas party. Her Christmas wish was granted on the spot!
As expected, many potential donors scurried by my station to the other entrance to the building, avoiding eye contact.
Others said they did not carry cash while a few offered to pay in bitcoins, poker chips or remnants of lunches being taken back to their offices. And then there was the pompous bureaucrat asking if I had change for a Ben Franklin ($100 bill) so he could drop two quarters in the kettle!
Evidently, many high-profile occupants of the building were on lunch diets that day or maybe saw me and the kettle and exited the building through the basement. Maybe that's the reason I saw so many lunch deliveries?
I put out an APB, with no luck, for Mayor Perkins, CFO Whitehorn, Sheriff Prator, Chief Deputy Parker, department heads, all council members other than jolly Grayson Boucher, and many other kettle absentees who all may appear under a "Wanted" headline with their mugshots in the next issue of The Inquisitor.
As fate would have it, Tuesday was the day droves of police officers, firefighters and city workers descended upon Government Plaza to attend the council meeting asking for pay raises.
Charity was not on the mind of most of these, including the police officer who responded to my offer of a Christmas cookie or free FOCUS SB with a gruff "All I want for Christmas is a pay raise."
Fortunately, I had packed the kettle away before the council deadlocked on a police/fire pay raise, and the building emptied with unhappy first responders.
The weather was warm, the contributions were great, and The Elf had a jolly good time. Now about those sagging tights and the missing elf shoe ...